By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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