its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
