I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
