she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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