And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
