...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
