also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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