I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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