Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
