see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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