Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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