I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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