sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
