I'm going to jail i love you
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
