So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my shit smells like andre
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
