guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
