my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
