Just took my morning after pill in the library
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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