I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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