You're so nebulous sometimes
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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