I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
