Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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