You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
