oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
