My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just puked most of my soul out..
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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