Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
