we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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