woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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