They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
