Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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