we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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