I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
