Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
