He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
