We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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