Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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