how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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