you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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