That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
