oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
