but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
