there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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