Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
