I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
