Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
