I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
