Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
