oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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