Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm at about main and main street
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Boobs are out for the taking
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
