It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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