i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
