do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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